I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
