every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
