I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
