p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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