there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize