i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
