So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
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Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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