One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
