Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
