so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
