he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
