Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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