I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
