Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
