i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
