Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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