We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize