I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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