Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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