It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
