were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
