you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
