The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I believe in your delicious
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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