just tell him i said nine months
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize