don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
