I want her autograph on my taint
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
