you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She said her name was "party"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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