dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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