It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
