My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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