i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize