I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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