Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
