Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
