His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
