What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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