this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize