I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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