You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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