The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
