Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
