i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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