Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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