I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
