We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
