How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You may now shotgun with the bride
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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