gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
is it fun? or sober?
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