i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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