He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
