dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
a search helicopter?!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
