So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.