We're like a lot better than the average bears
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."