how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
