Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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