For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
