I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
