Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
