The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
