I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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